White trash

I have a confession to make: I love super-tacky Christmas decor. I like colored lights instead of plain white (the blinkier the better), multicolored and multi-themed ornaments, gold instead of silver, Grinch dolls next to nutcrackers and fake poinsettias, Bass-Rankin and Peanuts Christmas specials, Bing Crosby on the radio, and I love, love, love that loose tinsel that they don't sell anymore (anyone know where I can find some?). My Christmas tree this year has three different multi-colored strands of lights on it, only one of which blinks (for extra tackiness!). There are homemade ornaments next to mirrored disco balls, resin cartoon characters next to plastic crystals, glittery snowflakes next to colored glass balls.

I wasn't always this way. I have a very traditional and classy gold & white angel at the top of the tree, because in my early adulthood I decided that I would only have gold and white ornaments on my tree and white lights. That lasted for one year. The following year I added red ornaments to the mix, and the year after THAT...well, the tacky urge came on strong, and I wound up with about three dozen more ornaments, all in different colors. Now I long for the glitter-bedecked homemade star we had on the tree when I was growing up. It was the star that topped my fairy princess wand one year at Halloween, and it had ribbon streamers and was super awesome. I wish I could find something that cool for the top of my tree, but I have been unable to find anything suitable in stores, and for some reason my attempts to make a replica have all fallen short of ideal.

So when I came home from my trip up to Portland earlier this month and saw that Mr Wonderful had decorated the entryway to the house with three different types of outdoor Christmas lights (blinky multi-color, white "icicle", and blue LED's) it was the just about coolest thing he could have possibly done.

Almost as cool as the porn-star mustache he's growing for me. Yes, apparently the fondness for super-tacky stuff has spilled over into my "real" life. I blame Swingtown. It was a television show that ran this past summer (and was sadly cancelled after just the one season), set in the 70s and glorfying that decade beyond all belief. Even if I wasn't born in the early 70s, I would have fond memories of that decade after watching this show. And one of the main characters, Tom (played by Grant Show, of Melrose Place fame), had a luxurious, incredible porn 'stache. Mr Wonderful and I looked forward to watching the show each week, so when I asked him to grow a mustache for me, he agreed.

This man must love me like crazy, because on Thanksgiving night, when I came downstairs after taking a shower and saw his new facial adornment, I just lost it. I laughed for about five solid minutes. He threatened to shave it off, so I pulled it together. And I'm so glad I did -- this porn 'stache is awesome. It makes people smile, if not outright laugh. It brightens my day every time I look at it. And once again, I am so grateful that I have a man in my life who doesn't take himself too seriously, and is willing to do crazy things for me just because I ask him to. I can't wait to marry this guy, y'all.

(All this and he does dishes too!)