Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Someone kill me now...

No good deed goes unpunished. It's true.

Last week, crazy pseudo-sister-in-law (hereafter referred to as CPSIL) called and cornered me in her usual way: "What are you doing Saturday?" Well, just as I usually do every other weekend, I had Rugrat. Which I told her. Which she KNEW, because she has the same schedule with her kids. So then she asks me to babysit her four-year-old, B, and because I was cornered and she knew I was going to be home with Rugrat, I felt obligated to say OK. So, I figured it wouldn't be a big deal - he'd come & spend the night, the kids would have fun together, and then CPSIL would owe me and I could get her to babysit for ME sometime when I really needed it (read: when GG is in town and I am absolutely desperate to get laid).

So she drops off B on Saturday at about 5 (not 6:30, like she originally said she would - you know, AFTER DINNER). She assured me that he "will eat anything". I made risotto for dinner. You know, rice. With some chicken and peas and mushrooms thrown in. I figured Rugrat would balk a bit but he'd eat some of it, because it's RICE. And he did. But B...well, B took one look and said, "I don't like it." Rugrat and I explained that it didn't matter because that was dinner, and the rule is, you must take one bite for each year of your age and NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT IT and if you are still hungry after that, you can make yourself a waffle. B grumbled and procrastinated a lot, but eventually ate his four bites. Rugrat professed to like it, but still only ate six bites (he said he was "being polite" - he didn't really like it). So afterwards, the two of them made themselves some waffles. Fine, no problem. The boys "play" (read: fight) for a while. Then it comes time to get ready for bed. I look at the woefully small pile of clothes that CPSIL brought over and realize that she forgot to send:
  • underwear
  • pajamas
  • socks
  • toothbrush
Lovely. So I gather some of Rugrat's old stuff for B to use. Way to be prepared, there, CPSIL!

Rugrat jumps in the shower and starts cleaning up, but B freaked the hell out and wouldn't get in the shower for love or money. Oh nooooo, he only takes baths. Fine, I figured I'd just ditch the "clean up" idea to keep him from going postal. They get jammies on and we read a couple of books. The boys go to bed. And then for the next hour, B and Rugrat are giggling and whispering and getting out of bed until I finally separate them by making Rugrat go to my room. And Rugrat was pretty exhausted by this point, so he fell right to sleep. But B? B kept getting up and opening the door and I kept telling him to go back to bed, for the next half hour. It was almost 10 PM before he finally settled down.

Next morning, B wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn. Yes, before 7 AM. I hear him in Rugrat's bedroom, hollering at him to "get up, it's time to get up!" Rugrat tries to ignore him for a few minutes, but finally drags his poor sleepy butt outta bed and then they come in to wake ME up. I get them settled down with hot cocoa and waffles and a video, then crawl back into bed. But every half hour or so, I hear them hollering and fighting. I keep having to get up and yell at them to BE QUIET, but B and Rugrat together are like a gigantic ball of crazy, and finally I get up. CPSIL calls around 9 AM and says she's on her way to pick up her little one, and then she'll be out to get B. The boys "play" some more, and basically Rugrat is on the verge of a nervous breakdown from having to deal with B all morning and not getting enough sleep the night before.

CPSIL finally gets here around 10:15 and everything goes to hell in a handbasket. B runs away from her, and then when he finally went back downstairs, something happened where I assume she grabbed him and he lost his balance and hurt his hip. I didn't see it, so I don't know what really happened, but B was in total meltdown phase (although after a few seconds it was that "fake crying" that kids do), and then little A, B's younger brother, comes over and B shoves A, and then A is crying and CPSIL is spanking B and everything is craziness. CPSIL orders B to put on his shoes and B of course refuses. I am sick of it all and just want them out of my house now. So I tell B to put on his shoes, and he glares at me. I ask him if he needs some help, and he glares at me some more. I give him a couple seconds, and then I am done. I go over and put his shoes on him, while he's flailing around, trying to kick me. I give him my "don't fuck with me" voice and tell him not to kick me, and he stops. CPSIL is yelling at him again, and I'm like, OMG, just get OUT of my HOUSE! They finally leave and Rugrat & I breathe a big sigh of relief. I swear to myself that I will never, ever send Rugrat over to her house to be babysat. And I will NEVER get roped in to doing it for her again, either.

And then, here is the kicker. Last night, I was sitting at home watching TV, and CPSIL calls me up. She wants to know if I told Babydaddy that she went to a concert on Saturday night. I said, "Yes, Babydaddy came over on Sunday night for dinner, and Rugrat mentioned that B was here so I told him that B spent the night while you went to a concert." So she gets kind of pissy and is like, "Well, you know every time you talk to Babydaddy about what I'm doing, it gets back to L [her soon-to-be-ex-husband]." So I said, "Well, I didn't know it was a state secret." And she was like, "Oh, I'm not mad at you, but L got all fired up and now he won't give me money for B's tuition [daycare fee]." And I'm like, whatever. I told her I didn't want to be in the middle of it. Her problems with L are NOT my problem. Yes, I can agree that he is being an ass, but if she didn't want him to know that she went out, maybe she shouldn't have gone out. Or she should have left B with her parents or something. Because seriously, doesn't she realize that B would tell his dad that he spent the night at Rugrat's house? L is just looking for any possible thing he can blame her for and that is NOT MY PROBLEM. As far as I'm concerned, if she doesn't want me to tell Babydaddy anything, then she shouldn't tell ME anything, because I don't hate Babydaddy; I am actually friends with him. So I talk to him. About things like the horrific babysitting debacle of 2005. And since he and L are brothers, I am sure he DOES tell L things that I say about CPSIL. But honestly? I just don't care. CPSIL and L are two completely insane people, and their fighting is tearing those poor kids apart, but there's nothing I can do about that, so...I'm done. No more going out with CPSIL and no more doing her favors. No more listening to her crazy man-hungry talk and hearing about how she's stalking her latest flavor of the month. No more pretending to sympathize with her dramas when all I can think is, "You brought this on yourself!" Just...no more.

No comments: