Am I the only one totally freaking out about California's complete inability to pass a fucking budget? I'm not sure I'll ever see the $1300 that California owes me as a tax refund this year. And frankly, if it means keeping the schools open, and police and firefighters working in our communities, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
But I'm starting to think California is going to declare bankruptcy before this mess is over. And THAT scares the hell out of me.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
All you need is love
If you haven't seen Across the Universe yet, you really should. Beautifully made, with AMAZING covers of Beatles songs that are integrated seamlessly into the story. I just bought this movie on Blu-Ray; I had already rented it twice from Blockbuster and just had to have it.
In other news, we opened up savings accounts for the kids this weekend. They will be able to deposit & withdraw money using their very own ATM cards and we can automatically deposit their allowance into the account. How easy is that? :) Plus they love the idea of having their own ATM cards (even if they won't have the Visa logo and therefore cannot be used for point-of-sale purchases).
Mr Wonderful and I also opened up a joint checking account. This will be used for wedding purchases at first, and then will be our joint household account afterwards. I deposited the unexpected escrow rebate check I got from my mortgage company last week. The good news is that my mortgage is going down. The bad news is that my house value has dropped so far that I'm now upside down in my mortgage by about $100K (including home equity line). Stupid economy.
Dad & Stepmom visited yesterday. I made them watch the movie. :) I also made a healthier version of the Yum Yum Chicken Enchilada Casserole which was quite tasty, although it needed more kick. And cilantro. I was out of cilantro.
Aaaaand lastly, I started on my wedding shawl (stole? scarf? I never know what the proper terminology is) on Valentine's Day. I thought that was fitting. :) Mr Wonderful's Bad-Ass Cabled Hoodie is not yet finished but I'm getting worried about time now, with only 7 1/2 months left before the wedding. I don't want to be rushing to finish my scarf in the last week before the wedding. The pattern I'm using is Canterbury Bells, and I'm knitting it with Malabrigo Lace in Vaa (a dark green/blue color).
In other news, we opened up savings accounts for the kids this weekend. They will be able to deposit & withdraw money using their very own ATM cards and we can automatically deposit their allowance into the account. How easy is that? :) Plus they love the idea of having their own ATM cards (even if they won't have the Visa logo and therefore cannot be used for point-of-sale purchases).
Mr Wonderful and I also opened up a joint checking account. This will be used for wedding purchases at first, and then will be our joint household account afterwards. I deposited the unexpected escrow rebate check I got from my mortgage company last week. The good news is that my mortgage is going down. The bad news is that my house value has dropped so far that I'm now upside down in my mortgage by about $100K (including home equity line). Stupid economy.
Dad & Stepmom visited yesterday. I made them watch the movie. :) I also made a healthier version of the Yum Yum Chicken Enchilada Casserole which was quite tasty, although it needed more kick. And cilantro. I was out of cilantro.
Aaaaand lastly, I started on my wedding shawl (stole? scarf? I never know what the proper terminology is) on Valentine's Day. I thought that was fitting. :) Mr Wonderful's Bad-Ass Cabled Hoodie is not yet finished but I'm getting worried about time now, with only 7 1/2 months left before the wedding. I don't want to be rushing to finish my scarf in the last week before the wedding. The pattern I'm using is Canterbury Bells, and I'm knitting it with Malabrigo Lace in Vaa (a dark green/blue color).
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Gin 'n' Juice: redneck version
One of my favorite cover songs, like, EVER. Imagine a country band covering Snoop Dogg. This is worth the price of admission, folks.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Darth Vader
Seeing James Earl Jones in a movie other than Star Wars is just so surreal. I keep hearing Darth Vader's voice coming out of this big black man and it's totally freaking me out.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Lost & found
I was convinced that the car had a black hole which had consumed not only my ATM card (lost immediately after renting movies) but my camera, as well. Turns out the ATM card was stuck between the driver's seat and the center console. Which would have been good to figure out before I called my bank and told them the card was lost and to please send me a new one.
The camera was a little tougher, but I finally found it in a Target shopping bag near the front door, mere moments before Mr Wonderful & I took off for the annual very-belated "Christmas" retreat with my company. The bag also contained my amazing, scary longline bra that I bought to wear with my wedding dress. This bra is unbelievable. It looks like it could safely corral a couple of watermelons. Are my boobs really that big? Jesus.
So I finally have my camera back, and can start foodblogging again. I even have the pictures of the yummy lentil soup on the flash card.
The camera was a little tougher, but I finally found it in a Target shopping bag near the front door, mere moments before Mr Wonderful & I took off for the annual very-belated "Christmas" retreat with my company. The bag also contained my amazing, scary longline bra that I bought to wear with my wedding dress. This bra is unbelievable. It looks like it could safely corral a couple of watermelons. Are my boobs really that big? Jesus.
So I finally have my camera back, and can start foodblogging again. I even have the pictures of the yummy lentil soup on the flash card.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Black hole
I lost my camera, y'all! I have no idea where it is...I haven't seen it since before Christmas. We didn't even take pictures on Christmas morning! I think the cleaning ladies may have put it somewhere odd and we just haven't run across it yet. But this means that my food blogging is STILL on hiatus...I can't even put up the yummy lentil soup recipe I made because I don't have the picture that is still on the flash card in my camera. *sigh*
However, I do have one thing to report on: I got samples of the new Quaker True Delights granola bars from Foodbuzz. There are three flavors: Dark Chocolate Raspberry Almond, Honey Roasted Cashew Mixed Berry, and Toasted Coconut Banana Macadamia Nut.
The first one I tried was the Honey Roasted Cashew flavor, and WHOA! That thing is SWEET. I admit, I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but it was extreme even for Mr Wonderful, who's got a bit of a thing for candy. Strong honey flavor. I couldn't really taste any berry at all, but the cashews were nice. I love cashews.
Secondly, I tried the Toasted Coconut Banana one. I was a bit wary, because I usually find banana-flavored things either disgusting (faux-banana flavored candy, for example) or just okay. This was pretty nice though; it tasted mostly like banana bread with macadamia nuts thrown in. I couldn't really taste the coconut at all, which is a shame because I'm a big coconut fan.
The last one I tried (and of course the first one Mr Wonderful snagged) was the Dark Chocolate Raspberry one. So sue me, I'm not much of a chocoholic. ;-) There was less chocolate than I expected, and not a whole lot of raspberry or almond either. It was pretty hit or miss - some bites were strongly chocolate or strongly raspberry, if you got a big chunk of one of those in that bite, but I didn't taste the almond at all. I think the almond is so close to the natural oat flavor, and the almond pieces are so small (maybe slivers of almond? I didn't see any big chunks) that they don't really come through.
All in all, they were nice if you're looking for a substitute for a candy bar, but I wouldn't call these health food by any stretch of the imagination. They were far too sweet for me (except maybe the chocolate raspberry, oddly enough), and I thought the balance of flavors was a little off in each one. If you're going to advertise "Mixed Berry" in the name of the product, you should have that flavor at least be detectable.
However, I do have one thing to report on: I got samples of the new Quaker True Delights granola bars from Foodbuzz. There are three flavors: Dark Chocolate Raspberry Almond, Honey Roasted Cashew Mixed Berry, and Toasted Coconut Banana Macadamia Nut.
The first one I tried was the Honey Roasted Cashew flavor, and WHOA! That thing is SWEET. I admit, I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but it was extreme even for Mr Wonderful, who's got a bit of a thing for candy. Strong honey flavor. I couldn't really taste any berry at all, but the cashews were nice. I love cashews.
Secondly, I tried the Toasted Coconut Banana one. I was a bit wary, because I usually find banana-flavored things either disgusting (faux-banana flavored candy, for example) or just okay. This was pretty nice though; it tasted mostly like banana bread with macadamia nuts thrown in. I couldn't really taste the coconut at all, which is a shame because I'm a big coconut fan.
The last one I tried (and of course the first one Mr Wonderful snagged) was the Dark Chocolate Raspberry one. So sue me, I'm not much of a chocoholic. ;-) There was less chocolate than I expected, and not a whole lot of raspberry or almond either. It was pretty hit or miss - some bites were strongly chocolate or strongly raspberry, if you got a big chunk of one of those in that bite, but I didn't taste the almond at all. I think the almond is so close to the natural oat flavor, and the almond pieces are so small (maybe slivers of almond? I didn't see any big chunks) that they don't really come through.
All in all, they were nice if you're looking for a substitute for a candy bar, but I wouldn't call these health food by any stretch of the imagination. They were far too sweet for me (except maybe the chocolate raspberry, oddly enough), and I thought the balance of flavors was a little off in each one. If you're going to advertise "Mixed Berry" in the name of the product, you should have that flavor at least be detectable.
Monday, January 26, 2009
KILT!!!!
Mr Wonderful's kilt is here! It just came in the mail today, and I cannot wait to see it. (He said I can't see it before him, so I have to wait until he comes home for "lunch" before we open the package.) This is no cheap mass-produced kilt, either. It's a custom kilt, with his clan tartan, all the way from Scotland!
In other squee-worthy news, we've decided on our rental cabin for our Vermont honeymoon. We'll be staying in Bristol, right on the river, very near Lake Champlain and surrounded by trees. I cannot wait! Also, Mr Wonderful talked to our preferred officiant this morning, and he is available for our wedding date & said he'd be honored to perform the marriage ceremony for us. :)
Everything is coming together and I am so happy. Now, if I can just find a wedding band to go with my lovely engagement ring...
In other squee-worthy news, we've decided on our rental cabin for our Vermont honeymoon. We'll be staying in Bristol, right on the river, very near Lake Champlain and surrounded by trees. I cannot wait! Also, Mr Wonderful talked to our preferred officiant this morning, and he is available for our wedding date & said he'd be honored to perform the marriage ceremony for us. :)
Everything is coming together and I am so happy. Now, if I can just find a wedding band to go with my lovely engagement ring...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Wedding update
I had a little meltdown last week. Mr Wonderful and I had decided to go with Scott's Seafood Restaurant for our ceremony & reception, because they had a lovely partially covered patio with a large rock waterfall, and the food was quite good. I'd emailed the event coordinator and gotten the OK from her on the date & location, along with a preliminary estimate on the cost. So I emailed her back with my specifics and asking to meet to sign contracts & give them a deposit. And then she called me to tell me that, oops, she'd forgotten one word in her email to me: "Not." As in, we can NOT do the wedding on their waterfall patio. Oh, but they would be happy to let us have the ceremony in front of their tacky painted lattice arch and have the reception in one of their private rooms.
That was NOT ok with me.
So I kind of freaked out, because we are under the gun here. We really need to nail down the date ASAP, because Mr Wonderful really needs to submit his vacation request by the end of the month. If he doesn't, then he would probably still get the dates off that we want, but if someone else had requested the same dates off before him, we'd be screwed. The end of the month is the cutoff date for vacation requests (from May 2009 - April 2010) to be evaluated based on seniority.
I didn't have a good backup for Scott's. We'd looked at some other places, but the only one that we seriously considered was a winery that we looked at a few months ago and decided was going to cost us too much. Well, after talking to Mr Wonderful, we decided to just go with the winery after all. It's probably not going to cost us much more than Scott's, and it was our first choice anyway, so it will be a lovely spot. He called & spoke to the events manager (who he actually knows personally), and our date is free! He's heading out there tomorrow to sign contracts and give them a deposit.
I really am not good at dealing with this kind of stress. I was totally ready to just say "Fuck it!" and drag him off to Vegas. But he has made it very clear that that's not an option. Thankfully he's more than willing to pick up the slack when I start going nuts. He has lots of ideas of his own, and he's happy to plan & make phone calls and stuff. (It's a good thing, too, because I hate talking on the phone.) Thank goodness I've got a partner who can take up the reins when I can't handle it anymore.
That was NOT ok with me.
So I kind of freaked out, because we are under the gun here. We really need to nail down the date ASAP, because Mr Wonderful really needs to submit his vacation request by the end of the month. If he doesn't, then he would probably still get the dates off that we want, but if someone else had requested the same dates off before him, we'd be screwed. The end of the month is the cutoff date for vacation requests (from May 2009 - April 2010) to be evaluated based on seniority.
I didn't have a good backup for Scott's. We'd looked at some other places, but the only one that we seriously considered was a winery that we looked at a few months ago and decided was going to cost us too much. Well, after talking to Mr Wonderful, we decided to just go with the winery after all. It's probably not going to cost us much more than Scott's, and it was our first choice anyway, so it will be a lovely spot. He called & spoke to the events manager (who he actually knows personally), and our date is free! He's heading out there tomorrow to sign contracts and give them a deposit.
I really am not good at dealing with this kind of stress. I was totally ready to just say "Fuck it!" and drag him off to Vegas. But he has made it very clear that that's not an option. Thankfully he's more than willing to pick up the slack when I start going nuts. He has lots of ideas of his own, and he's happy to plan & make phone calls and stuff. (It's a good thing, too, because I hate talking on the phone.) Thank goodness I've got a partner who can take up the reins when I can't handle it anymore.
Hope
I feel so happy and hopeful. This is the dawning of a new age for our country, and I feel so lucky to be a part of it. :)
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Planning frenzy
My mom is up here visiting for a few days, so I took the day off of work yesterday and we did some wedding stuff: we visited the bridal salon and ordered my dress (see previous entry for a photo of the dress) and we met with a wedding planner. Now, generally speaking I'm pretty comfortable with planning the wedding details on my own, but when it comes to the actual wedding day, I want someone there to run the show. I want a control-freak proxy to make sure that people are where they're supposed to be & things get delivered on time, and I need someone to help my mom wrestle me into that crazy lace-up corset dress. So we met up with a lovely young woman who's been doing event planning for several years, and officially started her wedding planning business three years ago. I think she'll be a great asset and having her take care of the minutia on the big day will allow me to relax and enjoy things.
We're deeply into the wedding planning stuff now. Mr Wonderful & I are hoping to nail down a location within the next couple of weeks, because we can't really move forward with anything else until that's done - invitations, photographer (even if it's a friend, we need to make sure he is available on our date!), catering if necessary, music, cake, flowers...everything depends on the date. So that's our #1 to-do this month.
I broke down and ordered a wedding planning binder from Amazon today. I think it will help me stay organized with all the things I need to keep track of, and plus it's fun. Mr Wonderful was laughing at me earlier, saying how I'm really "getting into this" now when my initial reaction was "let's just elope!" I'd still prefer to elope, but if he wants a wedding, then dammit, I want a wedding that doesn't suck. One that's pretty and has great food. So that means I need to plan stuff, and that means I can't just go with the first option that comes along. Therefore I need organizational assistance, and a pretty wedding organizer binder sounds like just the ticket. ;-)
We're deeply into the wedding planning stuff now. Mr Wonderful & I are hoping to nail down a location within the next couple of weeks, because we can't really move forward with anything else until that's done - invitations, photographer (even if it's a friend, we need to make sure he is available on our date!), catering if necessary, music, cake, flowers...everything depends on the date. So that's our #1 to-do this month.
I broke down and ordered a wedding planning binder from Amazon today. I think it will help me stay organized with all the things I need to keep track of, and plus it's fun. Mr Wonderful was laughing at me earlier, saying how I'm really "getting into this" now when my initial reaction was "let's just elope!" I'd still prefer to elope, but if he wants a wedding, then dammit, I want a wedding that doesn't suck. One that's pretty and has great food. So that means I need to plan stuff, and that means I can't just go with the first option that comes along. Therefore I need organizational assistance, and a pretty wedding organizer binder sounds like just the ticket. ;-)
Monday, December 22, 2008
Wedding dress shopping
This past weekend I took Tomboy and went shopping for my wedding dress. I tried on lots of different styles - strapless, a-line, princess, mermaid, trumpet, lace, plain, embroidered, beaded, silk, satin, taffeta, blah blah blah. My favorite one was this very simple taffeta dress with tip-of-the-shoulder straps, some very flattering ruching along the bodice, a lace-up back, and a moderate train (yes, this is moderate!). Bear in mind that this dress, being the shop's sample, is two sizes too big for me, so mine will be significantly more snug. And the color is ivory, although the camera's flash makes it look like it's white in the picture.Click the photo for more wedding dress pictures (this one and others I tried on).
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Foodie Hiatus
My new year's resolution will be to foodblog more regularly. In the meantime, here's a few photos of some dishes I've made recently. In the upper right, you'll see our Thanksgiving spread: a NINE pound turkey breast (JUST the breast!) and all the trimmings, even though there were only five of us at dinner.
A couple more photos & quick recaps:
Tropical Chicken Stir-Fry
Mac 'n' Cheese Florentine
Monday, December 15, 2008
White trash
I have a confession to make: I love super-tacky Christmas decor. I like colored lights instead of plain white (the blinkier the better), multicolored and multi-themed ornaments, gold instead of silver, Grinch dolls next to nutcrackers and fake poinsettias, Bass-Rankin and Peanuts Christmas specials, Bing Crosby on the radio, and I love, love, love that loose tinsel that they don't sell anymore (anyone know where I can find some?). My Christmas tree this year has three different multi-colored strands of lights on it, only one of which blinks (for extra tackiness!). There are homemade ornaments next to mirrored disco balls, resin cartoon characters next to plastic crystals, glittery snowflakes next to colored glass balls.
I wasn't always this way. I have a very traditional and classy gold & white angel at the top of the tree, because in my early adulthood I decided that I would only have gold and white ornaments on my tree and white lights. That lasted for one year. The following year I added red ornaments to the mix, and the year after THAT...well, the tacky urge came on strong, and I wound up with about three dozen more ornaments, all in different colors. Now I long for the glitter-bedecked homemade star we had on the tree when I was growing up. It was the star that topped my fairy princess wand one year at Halloween, and it had ribbon streamers and was super awesome. I wish I could find something that cool for the top of my tree, but I have been unable to find anything suitable in stores, and for some reason my attempts to make a replica have all fallen short of ideal.
So when I came home from my trip up to Portland earlier this month and saw that Mr Wonderful had decorated the entryway to the house with three different types of outdoor Christmas lights (blinky multi-color, white "icicle", and blue LED's) it was the just about coolest thing he could have possibly done.
Almost as cool as the porn-star mustache he's growing for me. Yes, apparently the fondness for super-tacky stuff has spilled over into my "real" life. I blame Swingtown. It was a television show that ran this past summer (and was sadly cancelled after just the one season), set in the 70s and glorfying that decade beyond all belief. Even if I wasn't born in the early 70s, I would have fond memories of that decade after watching this show. And one of the main characters, Tom (played by Grant Show, of Melrose Place fame), had a luxurious, incredible porn 'stache. Mr Wonderful and I looked forward to watching the show each week, so when I asked him to grow a mustache for me, he agreed.
This man must love me like crazy, because on Thanksgiving night, when I came downstairs after taking a shower and saw his new facial adornment, I just lost it. I laughed for about five solid minutes. He threatened to shave it off, so I pulled it together. And I'm so glad I did -- this porn 'stache is awesome. It makes people smile, if not outright laugh. It brightens my day every time I look at it. And once again, I am so grateful that I have a man in my life who doesn't take himself too seriously, and is willing to do crazy things for me just because I ask him to. I can't wait to marry this guy, y'all.
(All this and he does dishes too!)
I wasn't always this way. I have a very traditional and classy gold & white angel at the top of the tree, because in my early adulthood I decided that I would only have gold and white ornaments on my tree and white lights. That lasted for one year. The following year I added red ornaments to the mix, and the year after THAT...well, the tacky urge came on strong, and I wound up with about three dozen more ornaments, all in different colors. Now I long for the glitter-bedecked homemade star we had on the tree when I was growing up. It was the star that topped my fairy princess wand one year at Halloween, and it had ribbon streamers and was super awesome. I wish I could find something that cool for the top of my tree, but I have been unable to find anything suitable in stores, and for some reason my attempts to make a replica have all fallen short of ideal.
So when I came home from my trip up to Portland earlier this month and saw that Mr Wonderful had decorated the entryway to the house with three different types of outdoor Christmas lights (blinky multi-color, white "icicle", and blue LED's) it was the just about coolest thing he could have possibly done.
Almost as cool as the porn-star mustache he's growing for me. Yes, apparently the fondness for super-tacky stuff has spilled over into my "real" life. I blame Swingtown. It was a television show that ran this past summer (and was sadly cancelled after just the one season), set in the 70s and glorfying that decade beyond all belief. Even if I wasn't born in the early 70s, I would have fond memories of that decade after watching this show. And one of the main characters, Tom (played by Grant Show, of Melrose Place fame), had a luxurious, incredible porn 'stache. Mr Wonderful and I looked forward to watching the show each week, so when I asked him to grow a mustache for me, he agreed.
This man must love me like crazy, because on Thanksgiving night, when I came downstairs after taking a shower and saw his new facial adornment, I just lost it. I laughed for about five solid minutes. He threatened to shave it off, so I pulled it together. And I'm so glad I did -- this porn 'stache is awesome. It makes people smile, if not outright laugh. It brightens my day every time I look at it. And once again, I am so grateful that I have a man in my life who doesn't take himself too seriously, and is willing to do crazy things for me just because I ask him to. I can't wait to marry this guy, y'all.
(All this and he does dishes too!)Monday, December 08, 2008
Sobbing
Stupid PMS. I get hit pretty hard with it about every three months or so. This was apparently my month to come up against it hard, and of course it hit just as I was coming home from visiting my sister and her brand new baby (born last Tuesday!). I was there Wednesday - Sunday, helping out while she was supposedly resting and recovering from pre-eclampsia and giving birth. I say supposedly, because she didn't do near enough resting. She took only one nap! Sheesh. Anyway, so I came home last night and when we went to bed, I completely melted down. Sobbing my eyes out over the baby. I miss him so much! But I don't WANT another baby! But it didn't stop me from crying like a brokenhearted teenage girl who just got dissed by her first major crush. I cried so hard I looked like a puffer fish, and I had to take Afrin so I could breathe through my nose again and go to sleep.
Mr Wonderful is a SAINT to put up with me, I swear.
But damn, that baby was cute. I got used to hearing his little mewling cries and changing his poopy diapers and having him fall asleep on my chest, feeling his little warm body snuggled up against my heart. Doesn't mean I want another baby, though, Mom. I just need to borrow other peoples' babies occasionally.
Mr Wonderful is a SAINT to put up with me, I swear.
But damn, that baby was cute. I got used to hearing his little mewling cries and changing his poopy diapers and having him fall asleep on my chest, feeling his little warm body snuggled up against my heart. Doesn't mean I want another baby, though, Mom. I just need to borrow other peoples' babies occasionally.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Crazybusy
God, things have been so busy lately, I've barely had time to think. Quick recap here:
Things I still need to get done:
- Attended & helped organize a protest against Prop 8 in WC on the 15th
- Waged war on the pantry moths that had completely infested our dry goods cupboard; I think I've won but it may just be a lull in the battle
- Semi-regular dinner out with supervisor
- Fought off a cold
- Attended big Adobe conference in SF, 17th-19th (which entailed unfortunate late nights coupled with even more unfortunate early mornings in which I had to ride stupid BART into the city. Hello, two-hour commute!)
- Parent-teacher conference
- Thanksgiving dinner planning, including ordering the organic free-range turkey breast (even though it's just the four of us, and possibly Babydaddy, we will still have the requisite big turkey feast)
- Finished two sweaters (Sister's Christmas Present and my big green squishy Mmmmmalabrigo v-neck)
- Started a baby sweater
- Started and FINISHED a super-secret surprise Christmas present for someone (at least those long BART rides were good for something)
- Successfully kept myself from killing the kids so far (they're home a lot this month thanks to Thanksgiving, Veteran's Day, staff in-service days and parent-teacher conferences)
- Finished most of my Christmas shopping
- Crazy busy with work stuff (being gone for three days at a conference does not help)
Things I still need to get done:
- Family picture for Christmas cards
- Order Christmas cards, and when they get here, address & send them out
- Thanksgiving
- Get paver stones to edge the patio (between cement patio & new sod)
- Finish baby sweater
- Sleep for fifteen years
Friday, November 07, 2008
Clarifying my position
I got a comment on my food blog about my position on Prop 8 the other day, trying to point out my hypocrisy by invoking the argument of polygamy.
Let me be perfectly clear. I have no moral issue with polygamy. I do take offense when old men try to marry off little girls to their friends. I do not approve of child endangerment and sexual abuse of minors (or anyone else for that matter). A thirteen year old, while physically mature enough to bear children, is NOT mentally ready to be a wife and mother. But I don't have any problem with consenting adults marrying each other. As long as everyone is mentally and emotionally mature enough to deal with their decision (and at 18, we are legally considered to be mentally and emotionally able to enter into legal contracts), then go for it. You're not hurting anyone else. Even if you have a bunch of kids, as long as you're a big happy family, then I'm fine with it. Multiple mommies? No problem. Duplicate dads? Just more love.
And this is essentially my problem with the Prop 8 proponents: why are you so sure that YOUR morals are the right morals for everyone else? Why are you so convinced that your way is the only way people should live? What gives you the right to arrogantly decide to strip away the rights of others just because you don't like their choices? I may think you're an idiot for believing that a cracker is the body of Jesus Christ, but do I try to outlaw communion wafers? No, I don't. Because it's none of my goddamn business what you do as long as it doesn't directly affect me.
And gay marriage does NOT DIRECTLY AFFECT YOU unless you are actually in a gay marriage.
So why? Why are you so afraid to let people who love each other get married? It doesn't have anything to do with what kids are taught in schools; California law specifically states that parents can opt-out of having their kids taught anything about health/sex education. That includes gay marriage and homosexuality.
It doesn't have anything to do with religious freedom, either. There has never been any case of a religious leader being sued for not performing a marriage ceremony. NEVER. There was a lawsuit against a justice of the peace in Massachusetts who refused to perform a marriage ceremony for a gay couple, but he was a government employee who was bound by the laws of his state. Let me state this perfectly clearly: there was NEVER a requirement for religious leaders to perform marriage ceremonies that go against their beliefs. When did you last hear of a Rabbi being sued for refusing to marry two Gentiles? When's the last time the Catholic church got sued for not recognizing a marriage between two atheists? Never? Oh, that's right. Because this argument is completely irrelevant.
And don't give me that crap about homosexuals having "equality" with the civil union laws. "Equal but separate" is not equal at all. In fact, it's a slap in the face. And if it's just a question of semantics, then why are you so rabid about keeping gay people from getting married? If it was just a word, you wouldn't care. By fighting against calling it marriage, you are proving that civil unions are NOT the same as marriage. And I'm sorry, but no, you can't own the word "marriage." Marriage is both a legal AND a religious term. Therefore religion alone does not get to dictate who gets to use that word. You are not that special.
Dictionary.com defines discrimination as "treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit". I can't think of anything that describes this hateful proposition better. They are seeking to remove the rights of a group of citizens, simply because they happen to love people with the same set of genitalia. And here's the thing: discrimination will not last. White men tried to keep women and blacks from being acknowledged as equals - TRUE equals, not that "equal but separate" crap - and it worked for a little while, sure. But to quote Martin Luther King, Jr, "The arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice." If you don't believe him, look at our new President-elect: for the first time in the long and bloody history of America, we have elected a black man as our President. It took years of fighting against hatred and intolerance, but we have achieved TRUE equality for African-Americans and women. We would have had a female Vice-President next year if we didn't elect a black President (and we came awfully darn close to having a female Presidential nominee). And you can be sure that the fight against intolerance towards homosexuality is not over, either. Already we have made enormous strides; in just a few years, California went from losing gay marriage rights by 22% to losing by only 4%. And the courts are with us; discrimination is NOT tolerated, and Proposition 8 will be defeated. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. And someday we'll all look back and wonder why we got so torqued up about it.
So you might want to think about what you're really standing for, when you stand against gay marriage. Because the veils of education and religious freedom are thinner than the paper you used to write this hateful bill, and not as many people will believe the propaganda the next time around. Gays are not going to just fade into the background and agree to be marginalized and live as second-class citizens. Truly, you don't actually believe that will happen, do you? You don't believe that all the gays are going to up and decide to "go straight" just because you don't approve, do you? You don't believe that homosexuality will get shut back into the closet of our nation, do you? You can keep screaming that gay marriage is wrong, but all that's going to happen is you're going to lose your voice. Because the tide of righteousness is stronger than the ideology of hate.
Let me be perfectly clear. I have no moral issue with polygamy. I do take offense when old men try to marry off little girls to their friends. I do not approve of child endangerment and sexual abuse of minors (or anyone else for that matter). A thirteen year old, while physically mature enough to bear children, is NOT mentally ready to be a wife and mother. But I don't have any problem with consenting adults marrying each other. As long as everyone is mentally and emotionally mature enough to deal with their decision (and at 18, we are legally considered to be mentally and emotionally able to enter into legal contracts), then go for it. You're not hurting anyone else. Even if you have a bunch of kids, as long as you're a big happy family, then I'm fine with it. Multiple mommies? No problem. Duplicate dads? Just more love.
And this is essentially my problem with the Prop 8 proponents: why are you so sure that YOUR morals are the right morals for everyone else? Why are you so convinced that your way is the only way people should live? What gives you the right to arrogantly decide to strip away the rights of others just because you don't like their choices? I may think you're an idiot for believing that a cracker is the body of Jesus Christ, but do I try to outlaw communion wafers? No, I don't. Because it's none of my goddamn business what you do as long as it doesn't directly affect me.
And gay marriage does NOT DIRECTLY AFFECT YOU unless you are actually in a gay marriage.
So why? Why are you so afraid to let people who love each other get married? It doesn't have anything to do with what kids are taught in schools; California law specifically states that parents can opt-out of having their kids taught anything about health/sex education. That includes gay marriage and homosexuality.
It doesn't have anything to do with religious freedom, either. There has never been any case of a religious leader being sued for not performing a marriage ceremony. NEVER. There was a lawsuit against a justice of the peace in Massachusetts who refused to perform a marriage ceremony for a gay couple, but he was a government employee who was bound by the laws of his state. Let me state this perfectly clearly: there was NEVER a requirement for religious leaders to perform marriage ceremonies that go against their beliefs. When did you last hear of a Rabbi being sued for refusing to marry two Gentiles? When's the last time the Catholic church got sued for not recognizing a marriage between two atheists? Never? Oh, that's right. Because this argument is completely irrelevant.
And don't give me that crap about homosexuals having "equality" with the civil union laws. "Equal but separate" is not equal at all. In fact, it's a slap in the face. And if it's just a question of semantics, then why are you so rabid about keeping gay people from getting married? If it was just a word, you wouldn't care. By fighting against calling it marriage, you are proving that civil unions are NOT the same as marriage. And I'm sorry, but no, you can't own the word "marriage." Marriage is both a legal AND a religious term. Therefore religion alone does not get to dictate who gets to use that word. You are not that special.
Dictionary.com defines discrimination as "treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit". I can't think of anything that describes this hateful proposition better. They are seeking to remove the rights of a group of citizens, simply because they happen to love people with the same set of genitalia. And here's the thing: discrimination will not last. White men tried to keep women and blacks from being acknowledged as equals - TRUE equals, not that "equal but separate" crap - and it worked for a little while, sure. But to quote Martin Luther King, Jr, "The arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice." If you don't believe him, look at our new President-elect: for the first time in the long and bloody history of America, we have elected a black man as our President. It took years of fighting against hatred and intolerance, but we have achieved TRUE equality for African-Americans and women. We would have had a female Vice-President next year if we didn't elect a black President (and we came awfully darn close to having a female Presidential nominee). And you can be sure that the fight against intolerance towards homosexuality is not over, either. Already we have made enormous strides; in just a few years, California went from losing gay marriage rights by 22% to losing by only 4%. And the courts are with us; discrimination is NOT tolerated, and Proposition 8 will be defeated. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. And someday we'll all look back and wonder why we got so torqued up about it.
So you might want to think about what you're really standing for, when you stand against gay marriage. Because the veils of education and religious freedom are thinner than the paper you used to write this hateful bill, and not as many people will believe the propaganda the next time around. Gays are not going to just fade into the background and agree to be marginalized and live as second-class citizens. Truly, you don't actually believe that will happen, do you? You don't believe that all the gays are going to up and decide to "go straight" just because you don't approve, do you? You don't believe that homosexuality will get shut back into the closet of our nation, do you? You can keep screaming that gay marriage is wrong, but all that's going to happen is you're going to lose your voice. Because the tide of righteousness is stronger than the ideology of hate.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Yes, we did
Will post my disappointment about Prop 8 later, but for now...thank you, America. Thank you for voting for hope, instead of fear. Thank you for proving that we can move past our old sins and work for a brighter tomorrow. Thank you for coming out in droves, to put the most principled, intelligent man I've ever seen in the White House.
The people have spoken, and after eight long years, I feel like they're finally speaking my language again.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Off topic: Prop 8
I have temporarily disabled Google Adsense on my blogs because I learned that they are running "Yes on Prop 8" ads in California. I do not know if this ad displayed on my blog in the past weeks, but if it did, please let me assure you: I am NOT in favor of Prop 8. I do not support discrimination in any form.
Be sure to vote tomorrow!
Be sure to vote tomorrow!
One more day
One more day left for McCain to think he's got a chance at gaining the presidency. If you're an Obama supporter who's feeling just a bit antsy and scared about the possibility of losing again to the Repubs, check out FiveThirtyEight.com, which has the very latest polls and aggregate data, showing Obama with a 96.3% chance of winning tomorrow. Or check out this article on HuffPo, which shows all but one of the political pundits predicting an Obama win. That one dissenter is, of course, a Fox News pundit. (Big surprise.)
One more day left before the Dems rout the Repubs in Congress, too. Now, I'm not saying we're going to get the 60-seat majority in the Senate; that seems unlikely. But I think folks are pushing for a clear change this election season, and there's a lot of angry, bewildered people out there wondering why their 401Ks are essentially worthless scraps of paper now.
And one more day left, most likely, before the conservatives in California outlaw gay marriage. I'm heartbroken over this, truly. If Prop 8 passes, I cannot imagine a bigger blow to equality and basic human rights. If you haven't heard yet, Prop 8 is the gay marriage ban, and it's one of the most hotly-contested and expensive races this season, apart from the presidential race. Supporters of the bill are claiming it stands for religious freedom, the preservation of marriage (huh??), and the continued innocence of our Kindergarteners.
Now, let me just refute these points one by one.
First, religious freedom. The proponents of bill say that if gay marriage isn't outlawed, churches will be forced to perform marriage ceremonies for gay couples or risk losing their tax-exempt status. But don't churches already discriminate in who they will or will not marry? If you do not belong to their congregation, a church will often refuse to allow you to have your wedding there, or to have your wedding performed by their officiants. I don't think this argument holds much weight. In fact, I think the Mormon Church (LDS) may be in danger of losing its tax-exempt status for substantial political lobbying on this particular proposition. The IRS tax code prohibits tax-exempt organizations (specifically including churches) from "[substantially] attempting to influence legislation." What legally constitutes "substantially"? I don't know, but I'm sure the LDS has their lawyers hard at work coming up with reasons why this doesn't apply to them.
Secondly, the "preservation of marriage." This is a joke, right? How does banning marriage protect it? If they really wanted to protect marriage, they'd be better off trying to outlaw divorce. What they really mean, of course, is that the bill preserves the fiction that heterosexual couples are somehow extra-special and the only ones who should be allowed to be married. Why is it wrong for two consenting adults to profess their love and commitment to each other? Why should they be satisfied with only calling their relationship a "civil union" when heterosexual couples get to be "married"? If the only difference is semantics, then why should there be any difference at all? Religion does not have a lock on the English language, and doesn't get to dictate which words can be used for legal relationships. And if the basis of your argument is a religious one (i.e., "the Bible says marriage is between one man and one woman") then your argument is irrelevant and unconstitutional, because there IS a lovely little part of our constitution that demands the separation of church and state. Marriage is both a religious AND a legal state, and therefore cannot be dictated by religion alone.
And finally, somehow, they've convinced people that passing Prop 8 is going to save our children from being taught about gay marriage in school. Look, people: if you're that worried about your kids learning something at school that you don't want them to know about, then you should really homeschool your children. Kids learn a LOT at school, and not all of it is in the classroom. What they hear from their peers is usually much more objectionable than what they hear from their teachers. And quite frankly, I don't recall my son ever learning about heterosexual marriage in school, much less homosexual marriage. The California Superintendent of Schools has definitively refuted this; children are not required to be taught about gay marriage, and whether or not Prop 8 passes will have absolutely no bearing on the fact. But honestly, people, are you really that concerned about your child learning about gay marriage? And if so, do you supervise every moment with their peers? Do you quiz their friends' parents to find out if they watch Will & Grace or Ellen before allowing your child to spend time with those friends?
Homosexuality is not hidden in the closet of our country anymore - it's out in the open, and I for one am glad. Secrets breed intolerance and bigotry. And "civil unions are legally just like marriage" is the same thing as "equal but separate" - you know, like when we had "equal but separate" schools for black kids and white kids. So please, think before you cast your ballot tomorrow - think about what's fair, and think about how you would feel if someone wanted to take away YOUR right to marry the person you love.
One more day left before the Dems rout the Repubs in Congress, too. Now, I'm not saying we're going to get the 60-seat majority in the Senate; that seems unlikely. But I think folks are pushing for a clear change this election season, and there's a lot of angry, bewildered people out there wondering why their 401Ks are essentially worthless scraps of paper now.
And one more day left, most likely, before the conservatives in California outlaw gay marriage. I'm heartbroken over this, truly. If Prop 8 passes, I cannot imagine a bigger blow to equality and basic human rights. If you haven't heard yet, Prop 8 is the gay marriage ban, and it's one of the most hotly-contested and expensive races this season, apart from the presidential race. Supporters of the bill are claiming it stands for religious freedom, the preservation of marriage (huh??), and the continued innocence of our Kindergarteners.
Now, let me just refute these points one by one.
First, religious freedom. The proponents of bill say that if gay marriage isn't outlawed, churches will be forced to perform marriage ceremonies for gay couples or risk losing their tax-exempt status. But don't churches already discriminate in who they will or will not marry? If you do not belong to their congregation, a church will often refuse to allow you to have your wedding there, or to have your wedding performed by their officiants. I don't think this argument holds much weight. In fact, I think the Mormon Church (LDS) may be in danger of losing its tax-exempt status for substantial political lobbying on this particular proposition. The IRS tax code prohibits tax-exempt organizations (specifically including churches) from "[substantially] attempting to influence legislation." What legally constitutes "substantially"? I don't know, but I'm sure the LDS has their lawyers hard at work coming up with reasons why this doesn't apply to them.
Secondly, the "preservation of marriage." This is a joke, right? How does banning marriage protect it? If they really wanted to protect marriage, they'd be better off trying to outlaw divorce. What they really mean, of course, is that the bill preserves the fiction that heterosexual couples are somehow extra-special and the only ones who should be allowed to be married. Why is it wrong for two consenting adults to profess their love and commitment to each other? Why should they be satisfied with only calling their relationship a "civil union" when heterosexual couples get to be "married"? If the only difference is semantics, then why should there be any difference at all? Religion does not have a lock on the English language, and doesn't get to dictate which words can be used for legal relationships. And if the basis of your argument is a religious one (i.e., "the Bible says marriage is between one man and one woman") then your argument is irrelevant and unconstitutional, because there IS a lovely little part of our constitution that demands the separation of church and state. Marriage is both a religious AND a legal state, and therefore cannot be dictated by religion alone.
And finally, somehow, they've convinced people that passing Prop 8 is going to save our children from being taught about gay marriage in school. Look, people: if you're that worried about your kids learning something at school that you don't want them to know about, then you should really homeschool your children. Kids learn a LOT at school, and not all of it is in the classroom. What they hear from their peers is usually much more objectionable than what they hear from their teachers. And quite frankly, I don't recall my son ever learning about heterosexual marriage in school, much less homosexual marriage. The California Superintendent of Schools has definitively refuted this; children are not required to be taught about gay marriage, and whether or not Prop 8 passes will have absolutely no bearing on the fact. But honestly, people, are you really that concerned about your child learning about gay marriage? And if so, do you supervise every moment with their peers? Do you quiz their friends' parents to find out if they watch Will & Grace or Ellen before allowing your child to spend time with those friends?
Homosexuality is not hidden in the closet of our country anymore - it's out in the open, and I for one am glad. Secrets breed intolerance and bigotry. And "civil unions are legally just like marriage" is the same thing as "equal but separate" - you know, like when we had "equal but separate" schools for black kids and white kids. So please, think before you cast your ballot tomorrow - think about what's fair, and think about how you would feel if someone wanted to take away YOUR right to marry the person you love.
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