And the livin' is easy...

Summertime...ah, such a blissful word. It conjures up thoughts of freedom (road trip!) and simple joys, like running after the ice cream truck or scampering through the sprinklers. Backyard BBQs with friends, beach excursions, camping under the stars, trips to the amusement park and the waterslides...yep, we've pretty much got all that covered.

The kids have been enjoying our season passes to the nearby water park, and have also made good use of the new paver patio by "camping out" on it (with an air mattress and sleeping bags, naturally) occasionally. We have an end-of-summer BBQ planned in about 3 weeks, and are hoping to have a good turnout.

But this summer has also been punctuated by doctor's visits: I'm still having dizzy spells, and the doctors are still not sure what the cause is, although it seems to be a rare form of migraines. I should have more information later this week, after my visit to the Neurologist to talk about last week's MRI (!!!). I'm not very concerned though; I don't have any other indicators of a brain tumor, and I do have a history of strange migraines (ocular migraines, without accompanying pain), so that is the likeliest explanation. God knows, I'm as Type-A as they come, so stress is a big part of my life.

In order to combat the stress, I've been doing quite a lot of knitting. An online friend recently lost her baby less than an hour after she was born (no warning at all, very tragic) and a group of us Ravelers are making her an afghan. I knitted up a couple of squares and mailed them off to the person who's coordinating the whole thing last week. Now I'm hard at work on Mr Wonderful's Bad-Ass Cabled Hoodie. I just realized that we've got only 10 weeks until we go on our very belated honeymoon, and if I want to get it done in time I really need to hustle, because it's a huge project. I'm nearly done with the body of it, and will begin the saddle shoulders & arms shortly, so I think I'm in pretty good shape.

The kids have also made some requests: both of them would like a hoodie sweater this fall, and I'm planning on knitting them up in cotton, so they'll be machine washable. Rugrat, of course, would like his in solid black with some white (ok, ivory) skulls along the hem and sleeves. Tomboy has requested a green hoodie, with stripes of brown and aqua. I'm hoping to finish them both up before Christmas; shouldn't be a big problem but I'm worried about those skulls. I'm not very good at colorwork.

Oh, and one more thing: we ordered a new couch! We're getting a small sectional from Crate & Barrel; it should be here in about 8-10 weeks. Our current couch is nearly 10 years old, has all the structure of a partially melted marshmallow, and has definitely seen better days. I bought it when Rugrat was a baby, so it's seen more than its fair share of bodily fluids over the years. Mr Wonderful can't sit on it for more than 5 minutes; it just makes his back ache too much. So, it was definitely time.

What have you been up to this summer? Anything fun?

Monthaversary

It's been a month since our wedding, and not much has changed in our day-to-day lives, except that I'm starting to use my new last name. I finally got the marriage certificate from the county last week and was able to go to Social Security & DMV and get my name changed, and although I don't have the new documents yet, I was able to change my bank accounts and am getting started on the long process of changing the name on all the bills.

I ordered a photo album from snapfish, and am eagerly awaiting that arrival, but the video arrived today! I've uploaded some highlights from the ceremony to youtube:

Sand Ceremony


Vows


Ring Exchange

Everything's better with bacon

Including lip balm!

Wedding photos!

Just wanted to drop in real quick to give y'all a link to the wedding photos. I keep getting more in, so there may be more added to the Flickr set , but I wanted to get something up fast for those who couldn't make it to the party.

Also, you might want to watch our first dance. :)

Enjoy!

Wedding & job update

Oooh boy, things are in full swing now!

Still no job, but I've been doing some contract work for individual clients and for my old supervisor, who quit working for The Boss and is now opening up her own consulting business. So there's some money coming in. In fact I'm hopeful that I'll be able to just do consulting, as that would solve my issues with telecommuting quite nicely.

The wedding is set for May 2, at a large regional park. We've reserved a lovely picnic spot with a bunch of picnic tables, BBQs, a small deck for dancing, and a beautiful flagstone patio area that will serve quite well for the ceremony. I built a wedsite & found a free web host, and then sent out email invitations. We're doing a potluck BBQ reception, telling guests not to bring presents, but to bring food instead. I'm actually really excited; this is just the kind of wedding I would have wanted originally - something fun and laid back that we could invite all of our friends & family to. We're getting a great response - most of people we've invited are coming, I think.

My dress is in, and it's gorgeous and needs almost no alterations - just a bustle and maybe to tack down the sleeves to the elastic underneath. I made a beautiful silk flower hair clip for about $10. Mr Wonderful is renting a jacket for his tux, and we're getting some of the more esoteric accessories (sporran, hose, etc) at the Scottish Games in Woodland on the weekend before the wedding. And the kids? Well, Kohl's had an enormous sale and we ended up getting Tomboy a dress and Rugrat a pinstriped suit for less than $100. Awesome.

We got our rings too. Mine is a just simple white gold band, so it doesn't compete with my engagement ring. I already had a tungsten ring purchased for Mr Wonderful, but then he lost about 20 pounds and it ended up being too big. Unfortunately you cannot resize tungsten, so we bought another tungsten ring for him (one full size smaller!) on Overstock.com, for about $50. So now if he gains weight, he can wear the bigger one, but if he stays all skinny like he is now, he can wear the new smaller one. They're very similar; just the celtic knot pattern in the center is different.

There's not much left to do -- find a solution for music (speakers or boombox, battery-operated, that will accommodate an ipod), get a bouquet (Grandma has graciously offered to pay for my flowers!), decide on shoes (whether to buy some new ones, if I can find something good and cheap), find someone to do my hair, and figure out the cupcake situation. My wedding shawl is well on its way, and if I continue knitting a full repeat each day, I'll have it done in plenty of time. I'm working my butt off at the gym, so I should be in better shape than I have been in years when I walk down that aisle. Oh, and we have to get our marriage license.

Things are falling into place, and I am so excited! I'm not nervous at all about marrying Mr Wonderful - there hasn't been any doubt in my mind about him. I just can't wait to make things official, and to celebrate with all of our friends and family. :)

Wedding dress shopping

This past weekend I took Tomboy and went shopping for my wedding dress. I tried on lots of different styles - strapless, a-line, princess, mermaid, trumpet, lace, plain, embroidered, beaded, silk, satin, taffeta, blah blah blah. My favorite one was this very simple taffeta dress with tip-of-the-shoulder straps, some very flattering ruching along the bodice, a lace-up back, and a moderate train (yes, this is moderate!). Bear in mind that this dress, being the shop's sample, is two sizes too big for me, so mine will be significantly more snug. And the color is ivory, although the camera's flash makes it look like it's white in the picture.

Click the photo for more wedding dress pictures (this one and others I tried on).

My favorite thing today

(Click to view full size)

Greetings from low-carb land

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of back-to-school prep, board meetings, PTA volunteer duties and all kinds of things. Rugrat started back to school last week, and he's already had a clash with his new teacher. Big surprise. The kid is nothing if not strong-willed, and when the teacher asked the class to lay out their math homework a certain way, he decided that HIS way was better because it used less paper. And proceeded to argue the point with the teacher. So we had a little phone conference yesterday, and of course Babydaddy and I hammered the point home that following instructions is just as important as getting the correct answers. I love my son like crazy, but honestly that kid is not an easy one to live with sometimes.

I'm editing the monthly PTA newsletter this year, as a way to stay more in touch with what's going on at Rugrat's school, and because it was something I could do from the couch. You know how I am about my couch. LOVE it. Anyway, this is a bit of an adventure; there's lots of people involved in submitting articles, reviewing the draft of the newsletter, and sending me changes. There are a few people who (I have been warned) are consistently difficult to deal with: late submitting articles, etc. I've laid down the line in the sand though; I have said that I can work on this on weekends only since I have a full-time job, and if the principal of the school doesn't get me her article on time, oh well. The world won't stop turning.

I am also on the board of a new project that my supervisor at work is starting up: Classes for Causes. The basic premise is that people will teach classes, and the proceeds from those classes will be donated to the charity of the teacher's choice. The site is currently in development but we will be rolling out the beta version very soon, because we're planning to have our pilot class at the end of October. Supervisor is holding the first class: Search Engine Optimization and Internet Marketing. I am considering teaching classes in knitting and creating your own cell phone ringtones. Mr Wonderful is even getting in on the act; he'll be teaching a course in self-defense. Anyway, we've had two board meetings so far, and as the Board Secretary, I am responsible for typing up the minutes. Which took like an hour and a half last night, because we had a three-hour Strategic Planning meeting on Tuesday. My eyes were BURNING by the time I shut down the computer.

And things have been crazy busy at work. I'm desperately trying to get on top of things, but there is just SO much right now. So I'm working like a demon, trying to get done by the end of the day, so I can pick up Rugrat or go to the gym and fix dinner.

Speaking of dinner, Mr Wonderful and I have started the South Beach diet. Essentially it's a low carb diet for the first two weeks (meat, veggies and lowfat dairy only), then you add in complex carbs (whole grains, fruit) for the second phase. We started the diet on Monday, which was interesting because we were gone all day - since it was Labor Day and we both had the day off (joy!) we took a day trip to the coast. A nice drive through Sebastopol and Guerneville, out to where the Russian River dumps out. We saw a bunch of seals frolicking in the water, skipped rocks in the river, watched the pelicans dive for fish, saw a paraglider (is that a word?) jump off a cliff and float down to the beach, and ate crunchy veggies with a vegetable/ricotta dip.

Phase one hasn't been that bad, actually, although I do miss Dr Pepper and chips. Crunchy salty things are my downfall, and I've been missing the faux-cheese flavored snacky foods. But we've stuck to the plan (on day five now!) and have each lost five pounds already. We took measurements (waist, chest, hips & thighs) at the beginning and will compare when we take measurements again at the end of phase one. I'm pretty excited about this; I didn't think I'd lose weight this fast, and it's a great incentive to keep going. I doubt it will continue falling off at this rate (it must be mostly water weight, right?), but it's great to have some validation.

But man, I would LOVE to have a piece of fruit right now. I can't believe how much I am craving fruit these days, now that I know I can't have it.

Olympics

Am I the only person in the world who really doesn't give a rat's ripe ass about the Olympics? Seriously, I could care less, but it seems like every blogger I follow must make some mention of the swimming or the diving or the gymnastics, and how it goes on and on until 2 AM, and yet they can't tear themselves away.

Why?

Anyhoo, I made it through the first week back at work post-vacation, and I'm barely hanging in there. It's been a crazy busy week, with Boss & Boss's Wife gone (Boss's Wife is our receptionist/designer/HR guru/fill-in-the-cracks person). Of COURSE the servers had to go down. Multiple times. Multiple servers, including our mail server, which went down twice. Le *sigh*. Not to mention the backlog of emails and work that piled up while I was gone. Why is it that you go away for only a week, and yet you have something like three weeks' worth of work backlogged when you return? It's like some weird axiom of vacation.

The vacation itself was lovely, quite relaxing except for the nine-hour drives that bookended it and the hellacious heat. I got a bit of a sunburn when we went to the waterpark one day (for FIVE AND A HALF HOURS OMG I thought I was gonna die it was about 1000 degrees y'all!), despite spraying on the SPF multiple times. My side-boobs are peeling now. (Lovely. And probably TMI, huh?) That'll teach me to wear a bikini to a waterpark in Palm Springs.

I also got a Baby Surprise Jacket (tm Elizabeth Zimmermann) done while on vacation, from cast-on to buttons. An old friend of mine is having a baby shower this weekend. I've known her since Jr High, so I wanted to give her something a little more special than just a store-bought package of onesies. This is the fastest I think I've ever done a project (except maybe for the Easy Flame Lace Hankie, which is normally a shawl, but I just made a little square out of the lace Malabrigo sample I got at Stitches West). I'm very proud of it and can't wait to give it to her tomorrow. :) This is also the first non-family gift I've knitted.

Hmmm...let's see, what else. Oh yeah, Rugrat has anosmia, which is the clinical name for not being able to smell a damn thing. FMIL did a little research when I told her about it, and sent me an email with her findings. Turns out that it can be caused by all kinds of scary things, like a tumor (eek!) and some weird disease that would mean he wouldn't go through puberty (double eek!). So I took him to the doctor post-haste, in an effort to get a referral to an ENT. His regular doc was on vacation, and the substitute doc did not want to do the referral (WTF? It's all Kaiser, I don't see what difference it really makes) but she did send him for an x-ray and gave him allergy medication because she thinks it might be due to "inflammation." Which, no. Because it doesn't come & go with the seasons, y'all. And lest you think I'm overreacting and that he really can smell, I tested him (with his eyes closed) on: coffee beans, ground cinnamon, and white vinegar. Not a damn thing. He said they all smelled like "air."

Mr Wonderful and I are planning on doing the South Beach Diet once the kids get back in school. It's time to lose the thirty pounds I've packed on in the past year or so. Not a moment too soon. Mr Wonderful got food poisoning yesterday, and was up half the night, throwing up. And they wouldn't let him leave work early - they told him to "sip water every fifteen minutes and if you need to, get an anti-nausea shot. Then you can work through your shift." WTF?? He works in a hospital. Does it not occur to these folks that perhaps it would be good to keep the vomiting person away from patients? He might actually be contagious; they don't know. Of course, I think he was being a dumbass for not just calling in sick to begin with. When you hurl half a dozen times before your shift even starts, it might be time to call in sick. And to top it off, he's going to the Aikido class tonight. He says he has to, because it's so-n-so's last day, and so-n-so's parents are coming and everything. Whatever, dude. You can take a night off and let the other black belt guy take over, when you're busy vomiting your guts out all damn day and getting no fucking sleep the night before. I do NOT understand that man sometimes.

A summer cold

Last week Mr Wonderful came down with a nasty summer cold. I thought I'd escaped it, but apparently I wasn't so lucky...I started feeling it while I was driving home on Sunday, after dropping Rugrat off at summer camp. I just hope that he doesn't come down with it - what a disappointment it would be (not to mention a waste of money) if he had to come home early from camp!

As much as I hate being sick, at least I'm getting this cold thing out of the way while the kids are both gone (Tomboy's at her mom's this week) and before we head down for our vacation in Palm Springs next week. And I'm feeling much better today; yesterday was miserable but I got 10 hours of sleep the last two nights (thank you, NyQuil!) and have been drinking lots of liquids, so I'm feeling a bit better today. We'll see...it does tend to get worse as the day goes on, so I may be prematurely optimistic here, but I'm not as "out of it" today.

I know I've been lagging on posting here. That happens when I feel like I need to do a recap of something, and then I keep putting it off, and thinking that I can't blog about anything else until that is done. I'm talking about the camping trip we went on at the end of June, of course.

It was really very nice, and would have been ideal if it weren't for the damn mosquitoes. Rugrat got bitten so many times on his face that he looked like a boxer who'd just done ten rounds; his eye was swollen almost shut on the ride home. But other than the bugs, it was great. We spent a lot of time at the river nearby; I'd brought a huge inner tube (meant for pulling along behind a boat, so it was very sturdy) and we spent some lovely hours just floating in the water. Niece, of course, was absolutely ecstatic to be in the water - she's always been drawn to water, and would live her entire life in the water if she could. Mr Wonderful took Rugrat fishing for a little while, and I sat on the beach chatting with Sister and Brother-In-Law, knitting my cushy green v-neck sweater. You may think that wool and knitting needles are not appropriate for the beach, but hey, it's my vacation. I get to relax however I want. :)

And the food was glorious. I'd pre-made some Ribollita and some Mexican Chicken Chili before we left, and we also had hot dogs, eggs and bacon, biscuits, tacos, sandwich fixin's and snacks, plus lots of beer and soft drinks and water. Sister brought deviled eggs...mmmm....and they made us chicken-pineapple kabobs one night that were fantastic! Sister & BIL had gotten a really cool new camp stove; one side is a grill, the other is a regular burner, and it was very handy.

The best of the pictures of the camping trip are up on Flickr, if you're interested.

Oh, and let me leave you with this little snippet of conversation, overheard about 10 minutes after Sister & her family showed up:

Cousin: You suck!
Rugrat: No, you suck!
Cousin: We both suck!
Rugrat: Yeah, we both suck!

Human tetris

Technobabble

Rugrat has been bugging me for a while now to teach him how to "build a website." I tried explaining that people study for years to learn how to build websites, and that it's not something he can just sit down and learn in an afternoon. But he just kept on bugging me.

So, today I built him a very, very simple website, while I talked him through the whole process. I showed him where to put text, how to add an image or a link, and how to build a table for layout. Since I'm a programmer, I showed him how to do all this by writing the code, not with some silly little point and click "web builder" software. We also created a simple background image to use on his site, and then created links to other pages. So it was a pretty thorough introduction to web developing.

And as if that's not enough, I set him up with a Gmail account and pointed him in the direction of Blogger. He figured that out all by himself (it really is foolproof), and set up a blog called Lizze's News (Lizze is his pet lizard's name). Take a look and be sure to leave a comment - I'm sure he'd be thrilled to find out people are visiting his blog!

Snapshots

Trying not to pee myself, I'm laughing so hard...

Great Olan Mills Photos

And also:

Typos of the Day

Growing up

Rugrat's last day of school is today. The end of third grade!

He's been really impressing me lately. First of all, he hasn't lost his housekey yet. He's been working hard on his goals - remembering to bring all his stuff home from school, taking care of his responsibilities at home (homework, cleaning his lizard's cage at Babydaddy's house, etc). He's walked to school several times by himself (Babydaddy followed him the first couple of times just to be sure). And....he finally learned how to ride his bike.

I've tried a few times to teach him to ride his bike, but he was very resistant to even trying. However, I made this a prerequisite to him being able to be a latchkey kid next school year; I'd rather have him be able to ride his bike to/from school than just walk. So a few weeks ago, Mr Wonderful took him out in our court and taught him how to ride. It took him less than 20 minutes before Rugrat was riding his bike completely solo (including starting off and stopping without falling over). I was absolutely flabbergasted. It helps that Mr Wonderful is a lot stronger than I am, and that learning to ride the bike felt more secure and less wobbly while he was holding the back of the seat. But I think Rugrat was finally just ready to learn. Now, of course, he LOVES riding his bike. He couldn't see what the big deal was before, but once he learned how to do it, he couldn't believe how fun it was. And I had nearly given up on him ever learning to ride a bike, so when I saw him take off for the first time, completely on his own, I almost started crying. My little munchkin is growing up!

This is such a golden age of childhood, and it makes me especially excited about our upcoming camping trip. I've taken Rugrat camping before, but only once, for a single night, and it was a few years ago. I think this is going to be one of those vacations that he remembers for the rest of his life. We'll have three adjoining campsites: my sister & her family, my cousin & her son, and Mr Wonderful, Rugrat and I (unfortunately, Tomboy is not able to join us this time). It'll be five days of getting dirty, hiking, swimming in a river, fishing, and playing with his two cousins that are just about the same age as him. I've gotten a separate tent just for the boys to sleep in, and I really think they're going to have a blast. S'mores around the campfire at night, hot cocoa with marshmallows in the mornings, and long summer days playing in the woods and the river with his favorite cousins. What could be better for a nine-year-old boy?

Muuuuch better

I'm feeling much better these days. In fact, it only took a day or two for me to get out of my funk last week. About half of the scab fell off my nose, and I started seeing scar tissue, which was a big improvement. The rest of the scab just fell off today (I know, ewww!) and I'm finally starting to see what it will look like eventually. There's some lumpy spots still, around the edges (where the stitches were) but for the most part it's nice & smooth, and when the pink & lavender color fades, it will look very normal again, I think.

Memorial Day weekend was pretty mellow around here. Like most folks, we had a "staycation" instead of a "vacation." Gas is too darned expensive to go anywhere (over $60 to fill my tank this morning! OMG!). Plus, Mr Wonderful had to work -- hospitals don't close for holidays. So I filled my weekend with other fun things: watching the Indiana Jones movie, getting a pedicure, lunching with friends, and painting the last wall in Tomboy's room. Did I mention that she has three walls in her room painted ACID GREEN? Yeah, ugh. But that's what she chose - and it matches her bed linens perfectly. I painted the fourth wall chocolate brown yesterday, and I think it looks fantastic. It does a lot to offset the crazy green color. Now we just need to get some curtains, a rug, and some decorative stuff for the walls.

Oh yeah, and I bought a Playstation 3 yesterday. I know, I know. But it's got a blu-ray disc player built in, and I was planning on buying one of those anyway, so why not spend the extra $100 and get an upgraded video game player at the same time? It really is awesome; the graphics are incredible (especially hooked up to my HDTV with the HDMI cable!), and the new Guitar Hero III (which I also bought) is loads of fun for Mr Wonderful and the kids. We watched the pilot episode of LOST on the PS3 last night, just to see what it was like with a regular DVD, and the upgrade was amazing. You could see the forest reflected in Jack's eye in the opening shot.

Babydaddy and I are discussing the possibility of letting Rugrat be a "latchkey kid" next school year. It would be really nice to not have the daycare expense, but fourth grade still seems pretty young to me. In the meantime, he'll be out of daycare this summer, spending most of the time here with me, but I'm lining up some activities for him to do for a few of those weeks. He'll have sleep-away summer camp for a week in late July, and we've got our family camping trip in late June, but I'm also going to put him in some summer programs through the city. There will still be a lot of unscheduled time though, and one of the ways that he needs to show us that he's ready to be a latchkey kid is by entertaining himself for long periods of time without bugging me (since I'll be working). I'm not saying I need to have perfect silence and never hear from him, but I can't have him telling me he's bored every five minutes either. So this is one of our "tests."

Another thing we're working on is responsibility: he has a tendency to forget things at school sometimes (although he's been MUCH better this year than in previous years), so he needs to remember all of his stuff (backpack, lunchbox, homework, sweatshirt) every day through the end of the schoolyear. And even more importantly, I gave him a copy of the house key. He has to know where the key is at all times. I told him I will randomly check to see if he knows where the key is, and he has to always know, because if he loses his house key, he'd be locked out for hours.

And finally, there's the cell phone dilemma. Babydaddy doesn't have a landline, just a cell phone. And I would feel a lot better about Rugrat walking or riding his bike home alone if he had a cell phone with him, in case of emergencies. A landline would be fine once he's in the house, but if he got locked out (like if he lost his key) a cell phone would be preferable. And it wouldn't cost much to add him to my plan; I've got a family plan already. But nine and a half years old? That's awfully darn young to have a cell phone. And it's another huge responsibility. He might be ready for it, but I don't want to overload him with too many big responsibilities at once.

What do you think? Is fourth grade too young to spend a few hours home alone each day? It wouldn't be more than two or three hours a day, and he's a pretty level-headed kid. He seems to have outgrown a lot of his rambunctious impulsiveness in the past year or so. He's also very anxious to prove that he's ready and responsible enough to do this; it's something he really wants to do, not something we're pushing him into. How young were your kids when you first started leaving them home alone after school? And what about the cell phone issue? At what age and under what circumstances would you give your child a cell phone?

Today's political giggle

The Empire Strikes Barack

Requiem for a Funyun

I am horribly disappointed in the Frito-Lay company. Of all the products they make, they had to discontinue the Wasabi Funyuns? WHYYYYYY??? The Wasabi Funyuns were the epitome of snackage. They were the perfect delivery system for wasabi powder -- no overwhelming flavor of anything else (I'm looking at you, crappy wasabi potato chips), just crunchy fried wasabi goodness.

I first discovered the Wasabi Funyuns last July. I was visiting my sister up in Portland with Mr Wonderful and attending the drunktastic Oregon Brewers Festival ("Drink it, bitch!"). Mr Wonderful and I took a drive one day, crossing the Columbia river into Washington state. We stopped at a 7-Eleven and Mr Wonderful spied the acid green bag and thought he'd give it a try. Well, we couldn't shovel them down our throats fast enough.

Try though we might, we very rarely came across them again. At every convenience store, we'd check for the little bags of joy. Every grocery store, every drugstore, every place that might conceivably have them. Nothing. No love. Until last November, when Mr Wonderful and I were again on vacation, this time in SoCal. Down the street from my Mom's house, the local 7-Eleven had them. I grabbed half a dozen bags and would have cleaned them out totally, but Mr Wonderful convinced me that now they'd be showing up all over the place.

Back home in the bay area, we still couldn't find them. I found a stray bag once on while a trip up to the mountains to visit Mr Wonderful's sister, but nothing where we lived. (Why could we only get them while on vacation??) In desperation, I checked the Frito-Lay website, thinking that maybe I could email them to ask when they'd be in mass circulation. Turns out, Frito-Lay has a "snack finder" that will tell you the closest retail outlet that sells your preferred FL snack. The website claimed that Wasabi Funyuns were available in several convenience stores near Mr Wonderful's job, but he visited each one and could never find a bag. There were no listings in our town or closely neighboring towns.

And now...well, they're nowhere to be found. A phone call to the company confirms that Frito-Lay has stopped producing Wasabi Funyuns. And all I have to say to that is: OMGWTF??? Seriously? Wasabi Funyuns were the greatest snack evah! Y'all are evil and I am boycotting your crappy company until you bring them back.

BRING BACK THE WASABI FUNYUUUUUUNNNNNSS!!

OMFG! iPhone!!!

I have the greatest job ever. Today we had an in-house staff meeting (which means I had to go in to the office, horror of horrors) and then a belated birthday lunch for the boss. After lunch, as I was packing up to go, the boss called me in. He asked me a quick question about a client and then said, "I got you something. I don't want you to make a big deal about it, but..." And DUDE!! It was a 16GB iPhone!

Yes, I "need" it for work because I sometimes need to check mobile websites to make sure they're displaying properly and my phone doesn't work for that, for some reason. But seriously??? A freakin' iPhone, y'all! FOR FREE.

I love my job.

Perfect song length

Apparently, it's two minutes, forty-two seconds.

Delusions of grandeur

(While laying in bed last night...)

Me: You farted on me!

Him: I did not. My ass was not pointing at you.

Me: It most certainly was. We're laying back to back, your ass was TOTALLY pointing at me.

Him: No it wasn't. It's tilted. The fart came out on a trajectory, it totally missed you.

Me: It did not miss me!

Him: It did! It's like fireworks, they go up and arc down.

Me: Your farts are not like fireworks.

Him: Well, if it was a laserbeam, it would've shot right over your hip, it was not pointing at you.

Me: Dude. Your farts are NOT laserbeams.

Him: That is the meanest thing you could possibly say to me right now.