Missing

I'm missing Mr Wonderful like crazy. He & Tomboy left on Saturday to visit his family down in PS, and our bed is just too big and empty when he's not in it. :(

On the plus side, though, Mr Wonderful told Tomboy yesterday about the two of them moving in with Rugrat and I. Tomboy is excited, and has already started thinking about how she wants to decorate her room. I'm really looking forward to that - it's going to be loads of fun. I saw the cutest sheets at Target the other day: green with white polka dots (green is her favorite color). Of course Rugrat is going to want to redo HIS room as well, so it's going to end up being a big process.

Now I just need to get moving on packing up the stuff and getting rid of the bookshelves. We've only got about two months before they officially move in. I have a massive set of bookshelves in the dining room, and they need to go away. Babydaddy is building a sort of modular shelving/desk thing to fit against that wall for me, so that I can move my office stuff out of the third bedroom, since that will be Tomboy's room. But before that comes in, I have to pack up the books, get rid of the bookshelf, and (hopefully) dispose of all the boxes of books as well. Or at least find a spot for them in the garage. I need to get a thrift store pickup as well; I have quite a lot of housewares, clothing, toys, and even an old TV to get rid of. It's getting sort of ridiculous. I did a lot of shuffling in the garage a few weeks ago when I moved some stuff into the shed, and there's a bit more room in the garage now, but there's a long way to go still.

Disconnected

I've been feeling a little disconnected recently. Maybe it's the crazy dreams. Maybe it's the hectic pace of life. And maybe it's the fact that for almost a month now, whenever Mr Wonderful and I have been together, we've been doing something - driving all over the bay area to shuffle his new motorcycle in & out of the shop, taking care of house stuff and moving issues (like buying/building a shed), juggling the kids, running errands, etc. There hasn't been any time to just BE together, and I miss that. But last night we spent probably fifteen or twenty minutes just kissing, and I feel reborn. I just really needed that time to reconnect with him, and remind myself of why we are going through all this upheaval and stress. It's because I love him like crazy and cannot imagine my life without him. It's because I want to spend every night with him and wake up next to him every day for the rest of my life (even if I do go right back to sleep because, hello? He's getting up at 4 AM!).

Curry Chicken Salad

A little bit of a twist on the traditional chicken salad sandwich. Yummy, easy, and best of all, it doesn't require turning on the stove or oven (as long as you've already got a cooked chicken breast, that is).

Curry Chicken Salad
1 cooked boneless, skinless chicken breast, meat shredded (you can use a rotisserie one from the store if you don't have any chicken leftovers and just can't bear to turn on the oven and roast your own)
1/4 c chopped red onion
1/4 c chopped celery
1/8 c chopped roasted, salted cashews (maybe 10 whole cashews, chopped)
1/4 - 1/2 c mayonnaise (enough to moisten everything and bind it together)
1-2 tsp curry powder (depending on how curry-ish you want it; I used about 2 tsp)
salt & pepper to taste

Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl. Makes enough for two or three big sandwiches. I used yummy seven-grain bread to boost the nutritional value. You can also throw some lettuce and sliced tomatoes on there if you like. Or just serve it with the lettuce and tomato on a plate to cut the carbs (which I would never, ever do, because I live for carbs).

Gaaaahh!!

Sometimes I really wonder why Boss is in this business. He emailed me, asking about adding a captcha to a website form. I navigated to the page, and it was down. The whole site was down. So I emailed him back, asking which server the site is hosted on.

An hour later, he gets back to me saying that he doesn't think we have access to the site. Seriously? Boss? Do you not understand how this business works? If I do not have access to the files, I cannot make changes on them. I must have FTP access in order to do my job.

Sometimes, the mind...it just boggles.

Notes from the subconscious

I've been having crazy dreams recently. A few days ago, I dreamed that Mr Wonderful cheated on me and I woke myself up screaming at him. I called him immediately (he was on his way to work) and just the sound of his voice was enough to calm me down. Because I know he would never actually cheat on me, but when it's 5:30 in the morning and you've just woken up from a very vivid bad dream, you tend to sort of freak out just a little bit. Well, I do anyway.

And then last night (actually this morning) I dreamed that Mr Wonderful broke up with me and I went out and got drunk and then called a friend to pick me up. When the friend came, I accidentally locked my keys in my car (with the car running) and while we were waiting for triple-A to show up, some guy was climbing on a street light pole and slid down it like a slide and did a face plant in the street. Totally dead. Creepy, right?

I mean, what the heck is going on with me? Mr Wonderful thinks I have subconscious anxiety about our relationship. He's probably right, but...why would I be anxious? Things are great. Maybe I'm anxious BECAUSE things are great, and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop? We still haven't had any real conflicts between us, and it's kind of weird. Good, but weird. I'm not used to having a relationship without some kind of drama. Things are just very smooth with us.

F*ckwits

Yesterday I had to go into the city for a meeting with a prospective client. The client (hereby called L) insisted that they needed to have a meeting THIS WEEK, even though the Boss is out of town on vacation, and L specifically asked for me to be there since he couldn't. Fiiiiiine, I'll go, but totally under protest.

I toss and turn Wednesday night, wake up at 4 AM on Thursday, and can't get back into deep REM sleep. Fine. I get up at 6, do my hair & makeup (ugh), put on the clothes I spent half an hour deciding on the night before, and get Rugrat up to make sure he's ready to go in time. I fight the horrible traffic to WC, drop off Rugrat at daycare, park my car at Babydaddy's house, and walk to the BART station. In high heels. Because I am meeting a big client in the financial district in San Francisco.

I get there, an hour early (because I never go to the city and didn't know how long it was going to take on BART). Fine. I have a cup of coffee and a pastry, talk with Mr Wonderful on the phone for a while, and then head up for the meeting. I make it inside, up to the 36th floor, and I swear the office is practically deserted. It's 10 AM on a Thursday for crying out loud! Five or ten minutes later L, who coordinated the meeting & insisted on having it THIS WEEK, comes out and takes me to a tiny conference room, and says she's going to go try and find the other people who are supposed to be in the meeting. She comes back a few minutes later, alone, and says she can't find them, but she'll sit down and talk with me. As she's sitting there, going over what I already know about the project (which is that it essentially consists of migrating their Access DB to SQL and making some modifications to a few reports), the two guys come in. One of the guys is leaving the company and his last day is today (Friday) - he's the person who's been maintaining the database for all this time. And because he's leaving the company, L wanted to have the meeting THIS WEEK. OK, that makes sense...if the guy even really had anything to say to me about it, which he doesn't. He says, "She really just needs to get in and poke around and look at it" which is what I told them when we met two months ago. And the other guy says that he can set up Remote Desktop access for me, which is fabulous, and which we also talked about when we met two months ago. And they wanted to know when I could start on the project ("Could you start today? When you get back?" Um, no.), and I told them I'd have to check with the Boss, because I don't know what other projects/clients I might be committed to in the near future. And that was it. Meeting adjourned.

A ten minute meeting. A TEN MINUTE meeting!! Four hours round trip travel time to go to a TEN MINUTE meeting!!!!!!

Fucking fuckwits. I told the Boss that we need to bill them for all that travel time because THAT? Was completely fucking ridiculous. There was not a damn thing said in that meeting that couldn't have been said in email.

To add injury to insult, I got a big blister on my baby toe, and so I was limping a bit and I ended up pulling a muscle in my groin. Goddammit!

So tired

It's been an exhausting week. Sure, Rugrat was gone at summer camp all week last week, but I didn't get much of a break anyway. Between running around like a head with my chicken cut off, and worrying about how Rugrat was faring off in the wilderness, it was a busy time.

Last Wednesday, Mr Wonderful had the day off and we ran to Home Depot at lunchtime and bought a shed. A huge 7 foot by 7 foot shed. And then we had to rent a truck to bring it home, and then we had to unload it off of the truck in pieces, put said pieces in the garage, and then take the truck back. All on my lunch hour (which ran way, way over that day, obviously). On the bright side, I got a letter from Rugrat that day. It read (spelling and grammatical errors unchanged):

Dere momthor

I'm Having fun at canp. I wish you Cod Be her I DeD the cooLest thening in the wold! I went on A caBoL SLieD!!! Yes I now you shoct and omazD Your BroBoBLy JeLos. I hop you can ret Back to me

Love Ryan

Friday, I took the day off of work and drove down to pick up Rugrat at summer camp. Turns out my worrying was all in vain; he had a fabulous time! Of course he didn't eat much -- the counselor told me that he was the pickiest eater he'd ever seen. Heh. That's my boy! Anyhoo, after I picked him up, we went to a nearby park and met with my friend L and her daughter, S, who is about six months younger than Rugrat. We were only able to visit for about a half hour, because S had a piano lesson, but it was nice to catch up a little bit and get to see them. On our way home, we stopped off again, at Babydaddy's house, so Rugrat could say hi and we could have a little pitstop. After four-plus hours of driving that day, I was ready for a break. We had a little snack, then filled up the car with gas on our way back out to the freeway. We collapsed into bed a bit early that night as we were both exhausted.

Saturday, Mr Wonderful and Tomboy came over around noon, and Mr Wonderful set to work putting together the shed. I had the easier (and air-conditioned) job of watching out for the kids and making dinner. They spent the night, with Mr Wonderful staying in the guest room with Tomboy so that she wouldn't feel scared if she woke up in a strange place in the middle of the night. And the next morning, we had a big breakfast (with Mr Wonderful running off to the grocery store for buttermilk -- and bringing back flowers, of course) and then we went to the water park for a few hours. The kids ran off some steam, Rugrat practiced treading water, swimming, and floating (he REALLY needs to take swimming lessons), and Mr Wonderful and I mostly vegged out on the lounge chairs in the shade.

After the water park, we went to Schooner's for a late lunch and then to the movies to see Underdog. Ugh, I know, but it was the one movie the kids could agree on, so that was what we saw. We headed back home, I had a bit of a nap and Mr Wonderful and Tomboy decided to go back to the water park for a little bit. Rugrat played on the computer and watched a little TV while I dozed. Eventually I got up and made dinner for the kids (Mr Wonderful and I were not hungry after our big lunch), and we had a little issue with the dessert after dinner. It wasn't anything major, but I felt like I was put in the position of being the bad guy to Tomboy, and I thought it was too soon for me to be playing that role with her. So later that night, after Mr Wonderful had taken her back to her mom's, and Rugrat was in bed, we talked it over. And it just reinforced for me how incredible it is to have a partner, someone who is willing and even eager to talk about disagreements rather than running away from confrontation. We came to a consensus about dinner/dessert rules, and both of us felt that our bond was even stronger afterwards.

This is nothing like the screaming fights I had with boyfriends when I was younger. This was two adults, talking about our different parenting styles and making compromises to benefit our family as a whole. God, it just feels so different: mature and logical and loving. With every hurdle that we tackle together, we just fall more in love, because it feels like a real partnership. It feels like we're building a family here, and even when things are exhausting and stressful and busy as hell, I'm still happier than I've ever been.

Stressful week

Life has been so hectic the last few days. Thursday Mr Wonderful came out and I had errands to run (Target for last-minute stuff for Rugrat's summer camp trip, the library to drop off books that were due that day), PLUS I had to work late because I took time off to deal with an allergy attack/Benadryl coma. Friday was insane. My dad & stepmom decided to move their visit up a day, and Mr Wonderful bought a new (to him) motorcycle. I had to run him out to look at/test drive the bike (only a few minutes away), and then of course I didn't get the grocery shopping done on my lunch hour, like I'd planned. They picked up Rugrat from daycare on their way out here, which was great, but they got here shortly before 5 pm and so I didn't get to the store before they got here either. So after the 'rents arrived with Rugrat, I took dad with me to the grocery store, and then we came back and devoured an entire batch of Shrimp and Orzo Salad (I added a few chopped Kalamata olives this time, and it was a good addition), had a few beers and a few glasses of scotch and they got to know Mr Wonderful a bit. I think it went well. Not that I was worried or anything. ;-)

Saturday, I got up early with Mr Wonderful and sent him off to work on his new bike, as he was planning to take it to the Suzuki dealership after work to have it checked out. I went back to bed for a few hours, then got up and Rugrat and I packed his stuff for summer camp (or at least most of it). Then we headed out to L for lunch and wine tasting with the parents. We got in a few nice hours together (and Rugrat was extremely well-behaved, for him), and I walked away with half a case of various red wines. Yum. Then I got a call from Mr Wonderful: the new bike got a pretty bad report from the dealership and was deemed unsafe to ride, so I packed up the Rugrat and we headed out to pick him up, about forty minutes away. Mr Wonderful and I decided that even with the repairs, the bike was still going to be a solid purchase, so we left it at the dealership to have the work done, and I brought Mr Wonderful back to his house to pick up his car. He had to work early the next morning, so he absolutely had to have his car. He decided to stay behind for a few minutes, to check on the pets and stuff, and Rugrat and I headed back home, finally. On the way, we saw the beginnings of a wildfire along the side of the road, and I called Mr Wonderful to warn him about it - the fire trucks weren't even there yet, and I wasn't sure how far he was behind me. Well, Rugrat and I saw the fire trucks only moments later, heading for the blaze. And it turns out that they shut down the road, and the fire got REALLY big (I drove past the area again this morning and several hills got charred), so Mr Wonderful ended up having to turn around and take the long way to my house. It was a mess, and we were both exhausted by the time we got into bed.

Yesterday morning I sent Mr Wonderful off to work again with a sandwich and a kiss, then went back to bed for a couple of hours. Rugrat and I finished the last of the packing and a final load of laundry, then jumped in the car with a sandwich and some drinks for the ride. Two and a half hours later, we pulled into the camp, and oh my goodness, this place was FANTASTIC. It was a wonderful choice for Rugrat's first sleep-away camp experience. It was huge, with probably a dozen different cabins, each one holding a dozen campers plus counselors. There was a full size built-in swimming pool, a bunch of different buildings for different activities (including a big dining hall, and a nearby bathroom with showers), and huge stands of redwoods everywhere. Rugrat was the first camper at his cabin, so he got the first choice of beds, and he was so excited to be there. In fact, when I left, he could barely bring himself to say goodbye and give me a kiss; he was too busy asking the counselors questions about "super hero week" (the theme for this week) and thinking of what his super hero name would be.

On my way back, after dropping Rugrat off, I called Mr Wonderful and it turns out that my timing was perfect; if I drove up to the hospital to meet him, he'd be getting off work right when I arrived. So I drove up there, we met and had some horrible (but delicious) Taco Bell, because I was absolutely starving, and then we headed back to his house. He hadn't been home to sleep in three or four days, so the cat was grumpy with him. Mr Wonderful decided he wanted to go see the Harry Potter movie, so we took a quick shower and headed out to grab a beer and then see the movie.

So...that's the last few days of my life, in a nutshell. It's been a lot of driving (I burned through an entire tank of gas in two days!) and some drama, but nothing we couldn't handle. I'm thrilled that Rugrat was so excited about camp; I was a little worried that he might kind of freak out a bit when I dropped him off, but he couldn't have cared less. It's also a weird being out of touch with him completely for five days; I can email him (and he'll write letters, hopefully), but I can't just call and find out how his day went, like I do when he's with Babydaddy. I know he's having a great time though, and I'm excited to hear all about it when I pick him up on Friday.