Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Notes from the subconscious

I've been having crazy dreams recently. A few days ago, I dreamed that Mr Wonderful cheated on me and I woke myself up screaming at him. I called him immediately (he was on his way to work) and just the sound of his voice was enough to calm me down. Because I know he would never actually cheat on me, but when it's 5:30 in the morning and you've just woken up from a very vivid bad dream, you tend to sort of freak out just a little bit. Well, I do anyway.

And then last night (actually this morning) I dreamed that Mr Wonderful broke up with me and I went out and got drunk and then called a friend to pick me up. When the friend came, I accidentally locked my keys in my car (with the car running) and while we were waiting for triple-A to show up, some guy was climbing on a street light pole and slid down it like a slide and did a face plant in the street. Totally dead. Creepy, right?

I mean, what the heck is going on with me? Mr Wonderful thinks I have subconscious anxiety about our relationship. He's probably right, but...why would I be anxious? Things are great. Maybe I'm anxious BECAUSE things are great, and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop? We still haven't had any real conflicts between us, and it's kind of weird. Good, but weird. I'm not used to having a relationship without some kind of drama. Things are just very smooth with us.

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