Am I getting old?

I went back to the doctor yesterday for my follow-up appointment after last week's physical. Blood pressure: still high. Cholesterol: still high. Tetanus? Not boosted for about, oh, 25 years. Hepatitis A & B? Yeah, apparently I've never been vaccinated against them either.

So...three shots in the left arm (Hep A, Hep B, Tetanus). Ouch.

I'm supposed to take my blood pressure every day for two weeks & keep a record of it. Then I go in and he'll put me back on medication, because the blood pressure is not going to go down in two weeks, I can guaran-fucking-tee it. Cholesterol? Doc told me to start taking niacin tablets (I hate that shit) again, and add flaxseed oil capsules along with the fish oil capsules I started taking last week. Oh, and he gave me this loooooverly handout with my new low-cholesterol diet on it. Get this: I'm supposed to eat/drink only skim milk dairy products. Like hell. I'll be damned if I'm going to eat SKIM MILK CHEESE. Sorry, but life is not worth living without good cheese.

Foods to avoid: everything I love. Such as:

• bacon, hamburgers, salami, SHRIMP
  
• avocados!!!!
• cashews, macadamia nuts
• croissants
  
• rich baked goods with eggs, shortening and/or sugar (and that would leave exactly WHAT baked goods?)
• butter, gravy, bacon drippings, cream sauces (waaaaah!)
• sugared soft drinks
• fried snack foods (like I'm going to give up potato chips!)

Oh yeah, this is going to be loads of fun. Not.