Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Lost: Mindfuck

What. The. Hell?!?!?

LOST is totally fucking with my head every week. This week was kind of the "calm before the storm"...sort of. I mean, there was the whole mindfuckery of Locke's dad being maybe actually dead, but somehow on the island and of course, because everyone's lives totally intersect, he's also Sawyer 1.0. Meaning, he's the con man who ruined Sawyer's childhood, because Sawyer 1.0 was fucking Sawyer 2.0's mom, and convinced her to give the family's life savings to him. So when dad found out he shot the mom, and then himself, leaving the orphan son to grow up and become ultrahot sweaty yummy Sawyer 2.0. Is this all clear yet? Anyway, supposedly Sawyer 1.0 (AKA Locke's Dad) got in a nasty car accident and the last thing he remembers is getting an IV in the ambulance...and then he woke up bound and gagged on the island.

And WTF with Benry trying to get Locke to kill his own father? Oh no, The Others aren't bad people. They don't kill people. They just try to get other people to become homicidal maniacs. And Locke, in his ultimate wisdom, decides to get Sawyer to do his dirty work (so he DOES fit in with The Others, I guess). First he lies to Sawyer, then he manipulates him, then he fucking locks him in a room with Sawyer 1.0 until Sawyer 2.0 discovers the connection and ends up killing the guy because he is a fucking evil unfeeling bastard who TAUNTS poor Sawyer (2.0) until he totally snaps.

So a big FUCK YOU to Locke this week. If you don't have the balls to kill someone off, don't go torture your friends until they do it for you.

And a slightly smaller FUCK YOU to Jack this week, for being a sanctimonious ass. Because that is just Jack. Because he and Juliet are keeping some secret which they reference in front of Kate and then he REFUSES to tell her about it. Ass. He's still being pissy because she shared the glittery hoo-ha with Sawyer when she thought he was about to die. Fucking get over it, you tool. You're getting your rocks off with the resident Other mole, and it's not like you ever staked your claim on Mt. Kate anyway.

But the big mindfuck? The really big whopper? Was how they're trying to tell us now that really everyone is dead. Because the plane was found -- FULL OF BODIES -- off the coast of Bali! WHAT THE FUCK????

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